Thank you and sorry; Moms deserve appreciation on Mother’s Day and every day

Catherine Xu

Mothers consistently support their children through stressful times by taking care of their mental and physical health.

Christine Cheung, Copy Editor

She devotes her energy and her time. She sacrifices her well-being and her satisfaction. She hides her tears and her pain. She protects, nourishes and loves unconditionally—for she is a mother.

A mother’s love knows no bounds and cannot be defined. It is the driving force behind countless meals, car rides and caring words. For teenagers, a mother’s love is a safe and constant stronghold to lean on when pressured by the strenuous and ugly patterns of this world. Throughout the pandemic, many teens have lost themselves in the dark: shattered by loneliness, exhausted with schoolwork and disoriented in their own morals. Thankfully, moms continued to shower their children with minor gestures of love, especially during tough times.

“During [the pandemic], my mother made a great effort to [take] precaution and [keep] everything sanitary,” junior Grace Jung said. “Most recently, my mom expressed her love for me by bringing me cut fruit and snacks with water to my room while I was studying.”

Underneath the affectionate and devoted actions of mothers remain many battles and scars. According to the American Psychological Association, 68% of mothers said they could’ve used more emotional support during the pandemic. And even before then, mothers continued to selflessly support their children while juggling all of their own issues by themselves.

“The big surprise for many of us [mothers] is that, without near fairytale-perfect circumstances, most of us cannot have the full-tilt, Goldman Sachs career while simultaneously being outstanding mothers,” history teacher Antonette Bowman said. “It is impossible for a human being to be fully present—emotionally, physically and spiritually—in two places at once.”

To add to the undeniable reality of a mother’s limits, many teenagers don’t make mothering any easier. According to Psychology Today, adolescence is a time in which teenagers seek to establish their own identity, responsibilities and sense of maturity. Thus, receiving a well-intended question about their recent calculus test can actually make teenagers feel defensive toward their mothers, often leading to an unexpected, heated argument. Regrettably, this pattern can be the norm for some mother-child relationships, even when sporadic. Quarreling with a child and even receiving the blame for his or her struggles only add more weight to everything mothers experience already.

“In terms of my social life, there have been times where I’ve hidden things from [my mother],  shut her out and lied [to her],” junior Ardavan Davoodi said. “That was not only bad, but I feel like it hurt her [having to think], ‘Why doesn’t my son tell these things?’ Even though I’m quiet when I’m having a bad day, it’s no better than lashing out either.”

Fortunately, many mothers are still able to conquer each day’s internal and external struggles or at least accept them. Motherhood, beginning from pregnancy, is a long journey filled with trials that yield valuable lessons.

“The unknown and the stuff I just can’t control that could affect [my son’s] future are hardest for me in regards to motherhood since I like to have everything in place and organized,” history teacher Mary Brandquist said. “There’s an aspect of motherhood in that there’s going to be messes—both literally and figuratively—and you just have to roll with them. I’ve had to learn to just be more relaxed.”

In the end, mothers’ greatest victories stem from their hopes and desires for their children’s futures.

“Above all, I want [my children] to be people of character—honest, loving and grateful people of integrity,” Bowman said. “When they are old enough to start looking back rather than forward, I want them to experience fulfillment and satisfaction in knowing they have lived well.”

With every action and feeling of ardor, mothers have already demonstrated how deserving they are of love, and if possible, love that aims to mimic their own.

“Moms are moms. They are our strength givers, our ride-or-dies,” Davoodi said. “Mother’s Day is important because we should celebrate the people that cherish who we are and have made us who we are today, and moms are at the top of that list.”