Five live lobsters were found in mens’ restrooms throughout the school on the morning of May 30. Three in toilets, one in a sink and one on the ground, according to head of security David Smith. 

“I was minding my own business and someone comes screaming out of the bathroom ‘there’s a lobster in the toilet,’” Smith said. “And sure enough, I walked in there and there was a lobster in the toilet.” 

Smith says the six-to-eight-pound shellfish were collected by various security personnel and staff members. Three of the five lobsters changed hands once more, arriving in academy finance assistant Sheri Stern’s office, while it’s speculated that the other two were cooked in a stew in the activities office. Stern plans to cook her three for dinner. 

“When I was in the activities office, somebody said that lobsters were in their fridge and I’m like ‘well what are you going to do with them?’” Stern said. “They’re like ‘I don’t know’ and I’m like ‘I’ll take them. I’m having steak tonight so I’ll have surf ‘n turf.”

According to Smith, the security team does not plan to investigate or prosecute the source of the lobsters. He hopes for the contrary. 

“I wish they would bring some more lobsters tomorrow so I’ll have lunch again,” Smith said.