Satire: The Loveliest Time of Year


Aria Nagai, sports editor

The awkward lull after the holiday season when you feel like there’s nothing to look forward to anymore is interrupted by the most important holiday: Valentine’s Day. Nothing screams love like store-bought cards and chocolates from Target that your parents frantically buy the day before. In fact, Valentine’s Day tops my list of important holidays. Why should I show my appreciation and love for others all year round when there’s a holiday just for that specific purpose? As soon as Christmas ends, I truly love being bombarded by the sea of red and pink hearts that takes over grocery stores, the endless rows of heart-shaped chocolates that I am allergic to, and best of all, the wonderful selection of teddy bears and other stuffed animals holding hearts. 

So as we approach this joyous time, we must not forget the most important way of showing one’s affection toward a significant other: an Instagram story post. Endlessly swiping through stories of people I follow, my heart is full after seeing what seems to be the same exact post for every single person. Ah, modern love, what a concept. There’s truly nothing else I’d rather look at on a fine Valentine’s Day. From a young age, this monumental holiday has been ingrained in our brains as a day of love and affection; a day to finally show your passionate feelings for someone. Obviously, you love everyone in your second-grade class; otherwise, you wouldn’t get them all personalized cards and handpicked candies from a premade, store-bought bag. So authentic. Of course, this spectacular holiday is all about love. So what better way to celebrate than buying your significant other beautiful flowers that will die in a week? 

As we grow older and relationships begin to be more than the “thing” you had with your seventh-grade crush or the mall dates you had your parents drive you to, this special holiday evolves. Just like how you grew out of your braces and awkward bangs phase, the significance of this day has matured from buying everyone in your class a tacky Marvel card to buying a few special people in your life tacky “Frozen” cards. So this year, for this amazing holiday on some day in February, don’t forget to buy those overpriced roses and the raspberry-flavored $10 chocolates, copy down a cliche love quote from Pinterest and show your undying love for your favorite people. Because after all, Valentine’s Day is the only day you’re allowed to show your love. Ever.