In a truly inspirational story, high school senior Justin Time was reportedly informed by his guidance counselor on Tuesday that his four years in high school—during which he endured depression, sleepless nights and unfortunate hormonal developments—had actually been the best his life would ever be.
“My first reaction was disbelief,” Time said, smiling widely while folding a college acceptance letter into a paper airplane. “But I quickly became overjoyed. I’ve been so miserable for the past four years, but now that I know that was as good as it’ll get, I couldn’t be happier. It’s a dream come true.”
Time, whose high school career included several notable accomplishments such as achieving a perfect GPA and SAT score, captaining the debate and basketball teams and founding a nonprofit called Helping Us Not Get Extremely Rotund (H.U.N.G.E.R.), is set to graduate in June. He says he now looks back fondly on his years of anxiety-ridden misery.
“Things could’ve been a lot worse,” Time said. “And if my counselor is right, they’re gonna get a lot worse. My only regret is not having been told this sooner.”
His meeting with the guidance counselor took place at approximately 8:45 a.m. According to witnesses, his guidance counselor Laura Hopewell, who’d already met with two dozen students that morning, sat down, took a long sip of her coffee and told Time, “You’ve peaked, buddy.”
Following a brief conversation in which Hopewell broke down why it was likely that he had, in fact, peaked, Time was seen spending several minutes sitting quietly with his head in his hands. He later revealed that he had been reminiscing on some of the highlights of his high school career, such as his mental breakdown at 1 a.m. the morning of his AP Statistics test, the day he was accepted into his dream school for the affordable cost of $100,000 in annual tuition and the time he purposefully got hit by a car in order to have a good story for his college essays.
“I just wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them,” a tearful Time said.
For his part, Time remains grateful to have peaked in high school. He says he does not plan to attend any of the numerous Ivy League schools he was accepted into due to their cost. Instead, he intends to work as a cashier for the time being, and see where life takes him as he reminisces on his glory days.
“I’m proud of the life I lived,” Time said. “When I die, I’m gonna think back to the fake nonprofit I created for my Common App, all those times I retook an 89 on a test for a 90 and that one time I got myself hit by a car. And I’m going to feel good about myself, because I’ll know I didn’t waste the best years of my life.”
